Alright, let’s be honest. Being a vocal coach and the director of Lopez Studios Inc. is a dream job. I get to help people find their voice, build confidence, and put on amazing shows. But let me tell you, it's also a crash course in human chaos. You know those moments where you just shake your head and laugh? I've got a whole collection of them.

So grab a coffee, sit back, and get ready for five stories that will make you go, "Wait, what?" These are the unfiltered, messy, hilarious moments that prove that sometimes, the best part of a performance is everything that goes wrong.

Story 1: The Audition Interrupted by an Unruly Lunch

I had a student in for a mock audition. He was a teenager and was absolutely terrified, but he was holding it together. He was singing a really serious, emotional song from a musical, and he was doing great. He was deep into a powerful verse when suddenly, his stomach let out a series of gurgles and groans that sounded like a small animal was in there, having a full-on argument with a lawnmower. He stopped singing, completely mortified, and just stared at me with wide eyes. I just looked at him, and all I could say was, "Well, it sounds like your body is giving you a standing ovation." He burst out laughing, and the rest of the lesson was a lot less stressful. It was a perfect reminder that the most professional performances can be derailed by the most ridiculous, uncontrollable things.

Story 2: The Time I Became a Human Metronome

You know how some students just have trouble keeping a steady rhythm, even with a metronome? I had this one young fellow, bless his heart, who was struggling with a particular up-tempo song. The metronome was clicking away, the backing track was playing, and he was just consistently... somewhere else. So, trying to be helpful, I thought, "Okay, I'll just snap my fingers." I started snapping vigorously, trying to lock him into the beat. He looked at me, looked at my snapping fingers, then suddenly, without missing a beat in his off-rhythm singing, he reached out, grabbed my snapping hand, and started shaking it like we were sealing a business deal, all while still singing the wrong tempo. He completely misunderstood and thought I was high-fiving him for doing a good job. I had to pull my hand back, stifle my laughter, and explain, "Buddy, I'm trying to give you the beat!" We still laugh about my failed attempt at being a human metronome.

Story 3: The Very Enthusiastic Spit Take

I was teaching a group class for younger kids, and we were doing some articulation exercises. We were repeating phrases really fast, trying to get crisp consonants. One little guy, about seven years old, was really getting into it. He was practically spitting out the words with gusto. We got to a phrase with a lot of 'P's and 'T's—something like "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers." He winds up, takes a huge breath, and on "peck of pickled peppers," he absolutely launched a tiny, perfectly formed projectile of spit directly into the hair of the student in front of him. The other kid slowly reached up, felt his hair, and then turned around with this utterly disgusted, bewildered look on his face. The "spitter" froze, horrified. I had to jump in, mediate the "spit-assault," and somehow keep a straight face while telling them both it was an accident. It was gross, hilarious, and definitely a memorable articulation lesson.

Story 4: The "You've Got Something on Your Face" Moment

I was working with a middle school student who was preparing for a role in a school play. She was a little shy, and we were practicing her lines and facial expressions in the mirror. I told her to really emote and show me what her character was feeling. She was concentrating so hard on being sad, scrunching her nose and trying to get a tear to come out. All of a sudden, she sneezed. It wasn't a big sneeze, just a little puff. She looked at me, mortified, because a single, tiny, perfectly formed booger was now sitting on her upper lip. She didn't have a tissue, so she just froze with this look of absolute horror. I tried so hard not to laugh, and just calmly said, "That's great expression! Now, let's take a quick tissue break." The look on her face was priceless. We both just started giggling and had to stop the lesson for a minute.

Story 5: Excuse Me, Mr. Lopez?

I'll never forget the time a male student came into the studio with this seriously weird look on his face. When I looked at him and said, "Buddy, are you okay?" he just kind of squirmed and said, "Not really, Mr. Lopez." My mind immediately went to all the usual things—he was nervous, he forgot the words, his throat hurt. I asked what was wrong, and he looked at me, completely serious, and said, "Well, you might be offended." Now I was really concerned. He leaned in and whispered, "I'm so sorry, but I really need to fart, and I really didn't want to offend you. So may I be excused, please?" I just stared at him for a second, totally shocked by the sheer politeness of the question. I managed to squeak out a "Yes, you may be excused," and he bolted out of the room. The second the door closed, I completely lost it. I laughed for a solid ten minutes. The honesty and sheer politeness of it all was just too good.

These five moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and they remind me why I love what I do. Laughter is the best part of any performance, and a shared laugh can build a community faster than anything else. It’s a privilege to be part of a place where we can all be perfectly, hilariously ourselves. Here's to a future filled with many more unexpected and hilarious memories GO BLUE! 💙

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